R   E     B   O    T   O   C

Conversations with the moon are topics of a very far , far away past, in fact they never really exist did they ?. An exhibit that I did not enjoy because I really think Jeff Koons is so tacky!!! yikes !!! and that Andy Warhol was just another arrogant prick, anyway he was famous and living in one of the most fantastic decades (1960s).O C T O B E R  has started good!!  a night out nearly every night , well that's if I'm not working but I've had time to watch amazing film such as 500 days of summer , one of the films that I'd been dying to see for the past 5 month , jst because Joseph Gordon Levitt is in it and has a very interesting topic,a story written by Andrea Arnold ,Fish Tank , which is not the typical kitchen-sink drama that you expect from a British film of that kind;  the new film by Sam Mendes , Away we go , and I never thought I would recommend a film about Aliens but I will, District 9 , turned up to be really good to my senses. Oh busy month as the Times London film festival is about to start this week and I luckily got a ticket for the opening Gala of Fantastic Mr Fox which opens the 53rd festival in the capital.

September

This is the ode or my despise to a month that would make me  leave or that would make me  stay(well it's not like I'mg going somewhere anyways) , a proof of life and death oh yeah just a line n the desperate moment sof the mornings in underground stations and buses when your body is integrating to the routine of the day , journey to the business part of the city (meh Morrgate , Bank and St pauls I'm starting to hate it ) among men dressed in black suits and your half sleep body that complains saying "why do I have to be awake so early and be sharing my space with this people" but anyway I'm naturally a  moaner , I just like to moan quite a lot anyways . Reminiscences and memories of the night before.Yeah September is ending and summer 2009 is becoming another summer that would be remember ed alongside the past ones.

I think I have so much to tell that I can't recall all the events that I wanted to share with you guys ,but one thing that I've come across lately is that difficulties that come along with life and how to face it , i just think they add a bit of spice and excitement to everything . From having to move about three times as having strangers (to me of course) as guests in my house which ended up being a very pleasant experience and made me think about future plans and the dream time I would have when I go to Asia, less alcoholic nights but more tiring days in which I do not have time to think about something else but about what I would do when this rhythm of life stops. In my solitude, like Nina Simone would say it in that song , I sit down in the house and lock myself in my room and think about ...I've been playing one of my favourites cinematic moments for the last 30 minutes and I really feel tears that want to come down my face.however think it would still be another moment until I can share my favourites cinematic moment s, because I wouldnt be able to create a list now.

Anyway lets' get down to business , I have not seen many films , but I've seen quite a few one that I really did enjoy.

Film Recommendations then

Broken Embraces

With a very Sirkian kinda like  poster with Penelope Cruz on it  with a wig  on that reminded me of Dorothy Malone in Written on the wind.. the story of broken embraces starts  with a blind man who loses a few things , not only his sight but the love of his life . The story develops wittingly great but Almodovar's 17th film seems to establish or reinfoced the acclaimed director as one of the leading movie-makers of our modern era. The acting is superb but I prefer Volver y Todo Sobre tu Madre.

During my lonely time in a new hose , I've watched a few films that I needed to check, not beaucse I'm fan of English novels, just because Keira Knightley was in it, and it's not because I like her , I find her quiete annoyig actually .Pride and Prejudice (Joe Wright , 2005) managed to pull a great cast with a great performances , it's pretty face with a new face for Mr Darcy.

Mr Deed goes to town . (Frank Cappra,1936)

It's not Billy!!! it's Frank!! for some stupid reason for a while I thought this film was directed by  Billy Wilder, I don't know how , as they are very different . This faultless film has Gary Cooper as a humble and honest man who inherits a fortune from a relative he never met  and so he travels to New York to live the life style of this unknown relative, in the city he encounters things he's not used to but also love.Yeah I know this sounds like something we probably have seen or heard before (yeah Adam Sandler played Mr Deeds in a rom-com released a few years ago, However this film has really nothing to do with the 1936's masterpiece) The film is intellingently put all together and it made  Cappra an oscar winner. strongly reccomended!!

Autumn Sonata(1978)

how can you not fall in love with this opening sequence ?, it's amazing!!!!

Yeah , I fell in love with Bergman this summer, after hearing so much about him and finally accepting that he'll be one of those filmmakers that I will remember for the rest of my life, even I don't continue loving films and continue thinking that maybe one day I'll get to do something in Film. Autumn Sonata is the story of a Mother-Daugther relationship.It'a hopeless psychological drama about wounds that would never be cured because both parties won't find a solution to the mistakes that have improsoned the characters for the rest of their lives.There's no solution after all , I think Bergman always makes us to go on journey to the deep of our sense and maybe see if there's stil something left there.

Inglorious Basterds

I waited so much to watch this and I wasn't dissapointed , it is a masterpiece!!! maybe one of my favourites by Tarantino , even though I hate to admit it . Colonel Hans Landa is my favourite here (I hope Christpher Landa gets the oscar this year), great casting , incredible jokes (I felt very insane laughing at things I'm not supposed to laugh in a rational manner.Nevertheless , it'd be another million years until I get to see a Tarantino film in the meantime I will enjoy what's left to watch for this year.

The little girl had walked for miles, the sun was shining on her back , and she could feel it burning her skin , it was just her on the road and that tall man , whom she called , father, was 30 meters away from her, so she stopped walking and screamed "I can't take it anymore and sat down on a stone nearby , the tall man understood, that she was just a kid and just like he was , the girl needed to have his strength to walk the distance , they were about to, yeah a life lesson for both of them the girl and the tall man. This only reminds me of the past two weeks , one week up , one week everything that had been built up , just fell off in one second -well actually in one day- but it's all like in a road movie and you are still a kid sleeping in the back of a car and your parents talking vaguely in the front.

Oh road movies, those summer days when we encountered the mountains and ourselves, those little arguments we had with our parents, because we wanted something we couldn't have, but let me tell you something , there's always a kid left inside us that'd be with us for the rest of our lives forever. So oh well , these days I've gone from a great summer in an galician town in the 1940s to a lovely trip around Russia to get to Crimea , then moving to a place in San Francisco where strange things happen including a toad rain, going around the forgotten and isolated mind of Charlie Kaufman and finishing in an miracolous italian city , where desires are being granted.

(Roads to )Koktebel (Boris Khlebnikov, Alexei Popogrebsky, 2003)

I strongly believe in the cinema of images that suggest everything that you can't explain with words, where emotions collide and explode , in which the viewer establishes a connection with the story , that creates confusion and fills his /her spirit and mind and makes them think about the the most simple but complicated things in life, such as emotions , and how we develop them throughout our lives.Fields , tracks , birds and roads transform this film in a living painting , where moods just develop in a rather pensive and reflective way and float in your head ; an adult man fighting his demons and a son learning the lessons of life are on their way to a better place , Koktebel ,a little town near the Black sea, where they will start a new life , they leave Moscow and start a long way to this town , but the journey ends up being longer than they thought , it would be a lesson for both of them, independence and human needs , the relationship between a father- who needs a refuge- and a son - remind us of the curiosity and need of adventure of our early years, our awakenings-, every moment in this film is frozen by the beautiful landscape that takes us away and makes us to be there sharing a simple story of life.I don't know why , but many Russian filmmakers have this ability to transmit emotions with no words and use imagery as a transport to create something very powerful that transform our senses, -of course another lesson of life-.In addition , and maybe not less important , I seriously believe that Russian cinema has a very special characteristic , its power to engage the viewer in a state that would be unforgettable , even if he /she did not quite enjoy iin a good manner , the experience will stay with them forever.Well , that's probably me , because I'm obsessed with Russian Cinema that's all

The Butterfly's tongue (La Lengua de las mariposas ,1999 Jose Luis Cuerda)

Not a road movie , but a film that contains many things that I would like to discuss here , we also learn and look up at people who we admire and learn to respect as well as learn the treats of betrayal in order to safeguard (survive)our lives .In a small town in Galicia , Moncho starts his first day at school , he confronts his biggest fears which he learns to get through with the help of his tutor,Don gregorio , a respectable man among the community , the year has just started , and Moncho would experience things he's never seen or done before , a lovely summer aproaching and Moncho ,a not too coy , not too precocios portrayed kid , but kind of realistic in a sense that leads him to open his eyes to the real world, as the summer aproaches everything changes and Franco came and the rest is history. La lengua de las mariposas is shot beautifully with great perfomances from the two lead protagonists and a very strong message that it definetely had me thinking how imposed things represses the human spirit, how selfish we are and how we only exist as individual in this world and makes us to be the worst living creatures in this world ,the end is incredibly emotionally powerful .After this I had to start researching about the spanish civil war , as I must say I'm total ignorant about this and don't know much about it.I strongly reccomend it , also Alejandro Amenabar contributed to the soundtrack of the film.

Magnolia (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1999)

Things fall down. People look up. And when it rains, it pours.

Yeah I was 12 , and I was a bit obsessed about film releases , my mum used to get a weekly magazine and all I was looking forward to read was the film section . I remember reading about Magnolia , perhaps , given to the fact that my life was revolving around actors and their relations and probably that was the time , Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman finished their marriage, god!! that seems to be ages ago and hardly anyone remembers they were married once . The time went on and never watched it , still doesn't feel like this film was released that long ago , so one of these days I sat down and watched it . I did not feel anything for the first hour , then the second everything is just building up, builds up to finish in one of the most amazing endings of all times , a lesson in filmmaking that's for sure ,

I also thought on how the film deals with so may themes such as how we live our consequences, victims of the past , a burden that we have to bear whether we get forgiveness or not , the hypocrysy in our lives ,we wear a masquerade to cover and smile to others and maybe show that we're better off than them in a egotistic manner .

All characters have something to teach us as they're interelated . As somebody told me once , we build our own journey it's up to us which way we want to go . Magnolia has become one of my favourite films and would watch it again and well talking about watching films for second times, I'll move on to talk about another genius of our modern days ,Charlie Kaufmann.

Watching Eternal Sunshine for a Spotless Mind again for like the 4th time, and maybe not having understood the message of the film before ,I could finally watch it all along and watch all the missing parts, I had not seen before , I finally came to understand this great and magnificent film puzzle as well as reflecting on things I'd not thought about it before. our fears as innoncent children , how in life we get taught to run away from pain, however pain is part of being human , pain emanates from good experiences that should not be forgotten.Kaufmann always asks us to re-view his work over and over again and whenever you go on the same journey , you will find new things , a revolutionary filmmaker, who has defied the conventional rules of story telling applying what many filmmakers have said before ,a film should always have a beginning , a middle and an end , but not necessarily in a chronological order.Kaufman's main concern is to play with our minds and explore the complexities of human relations. I won't say more about it , as I know the film is beautiful and it's got absolutely everything I've imagined. a film to be , by the way if you have not seen Synechdoque , New York (Kaufman, 2009), well after seeing Sunshine again ,I'll definetely check Heaven by Tom Twyker , and based on an screenplay of a polish mind , Krzysztof Kie?lowski.

Miracolo a Milano

I wanted to talk about this film this week , but will do next week , as I don't want to write anymore.

And it's in this way , I finish my complaint and well my silly comments, next time , I'll comment on the surrealiste manifesto and Breton and Dali and a little story involving long corridors and an object in the middle.

Another sunday spent among the rude crowds that pest Camden town on weekends. It hasn't been a very exciting week , if i can call it like that , apart from the loss of one of the most important writers in Hollywood, John Hugues, my usual complaints about my PC being too slow, and five days of drinking , a birthday , insomnia and long walks around covent garden trying to find new ways to get to an unknown and not predestined direction, seem to be unimportant when I think about it, oh and almost forgot a new green velvet jacket!!!!

FILM RECCOMENDATIONS

Oh well this week , I havent watched that much films , but I would pick a few and would talk briefly about them.

First of all , before I get on to the talk about Bergman .I'm almost, almost done with Freya and six days I finally "finished" writing the final part, that it would still be subject to changes, as I'm not that much of a writer , so obviously it's not finished entirely, coz I need an extra help.

Freya and six days is about two strangers who meet one night in the platform of an underground/metro station and the subsequent 6 days after their unsual meeting that would take them to change their lives forever, that if the term forever could be applied to it.

Wild Strawberries (Bergman , 1957)

There's always a day , yeah a special day on which we sit down and think back and try to reflect on our lives , so we can mend our ways and start a new journey . However as we start this new journey the past is forgotten and the scars are still visible, maybe specially the ones we can see. It is in this way that the special day comes for Professor Borg , a day where dreams bring the thought of mortality , vulnerability and the forgotten past make him reflect and try to mend everything that he'd already built during his lifetime.Every character present that day , are demons and angels reminiscent of his past that led him to renew his spirit towards the end and start a new beginning.In addition ,as many say , Borg might be seen as an alter ego for Bergman , aged 39 , when he shot the film. The film is a homage to the human spirit , second chances and the scars that cant be simply ignored, nevertheless be transformed into memories that make us  get thorugh the new journey and never go back where we were before. I think the first dream sequence is one of the most powerful ones , when a man confronts his mortality , being dead and alive,and it somehow reminded me of Un chien Andalou (Bunuel , 1929). I love the simplicity of the film , it creates a sense of sweetness sometimes, specially when Borg narrates, because he finally sees what he didn't see before , and how the surreal and reality are divided and how  that division is merged together in the film , just like life itself.

Water drops on burning rocks -Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brûlantes (Ozon , France,2002)

A witty comedy in which you don't actually laugh , but you recognise the bare , naked and painful truth about desire , jealousy, with cruel characters, emotional mood swings and the coldness and naivety of not having lived enough to experience, and this is what I like , so Fassbinderian, so German!!! , but with a great film style that differs so much from what we would have seen if this script would have been shot in the 70's .Water drops on burning rocks is written by Fassbinder and filmed with a clean faithfullness to the style of the German director, Ozon creates a perfect environment, for a cold and gruelling atmosphere, following the trend of a Sirkean psychological melodrama , in which the mise-en-scene tells more about the characters than the dialogues themselves, however , as i must say , the french filmmaker makes the film so entertaining and less painful to watch with the use of music contrasting the dull and dreary atmosphere of Fassbinder .Additionally, I don't know why or maybe I do , but I've always seen Ozon , since I watched 8 women (2002), in the same trend as Almodovar and obviously Fassbinder , nevertheless I think his beautiful and elegant , chick style clearly rivals the one from Almodovar, Ozon for me is the French Sirk of our times ,(well not completely though, so don't judge me for saying this), a Fassbinder with class , Unlike Fassbinder , Ozon creates characters that can be ironic and extremely funny and simpathetic at times . Water... might not be the best film by Ozon , but certainly very , very entertaining , I still think Fassbinder would have liked it.

Persona (Bergman ,1966)

This film is visually striking and confusing sometimes, for the first 30 minutes , I found myself going back to what had happened previously , because I didn't quite get it at times until I actually watched the whole film , although i think it deserves a second viewing , because there are still some unclear things to me.Nevertheless I think that was Bergman's purpose to challenge the viewer to ask himself/herself questions about personal identity , plus to what extent an artist could go to portray/express something.I can't say I really like it ,,as I was confused , but I would say it's one of the best films I've seen and probably my favourite Bergman film.

Plata Quemada=Burning money(Marcelo Pineyros,Argentina,2000)

Yeah I secretly enjoy love stories and specially the ones that involve moody characters , in which a partner always suffers more than the other . This film is about two gangsters, -yeah the tough and cold murderers- who are "business" partners and also share an intense and twisted love for each other.The film is a shakespearan tragedy with an Argentinian touch,(tears, passion , hatred , desire, well just like Tango) visually stunning with the cinematography of Alfredo Mayo .The love they share seems to opaque the fact that they are murderers and deserve to be punished for what they have done.Incredibly being a love story there aren't scenes of sexual nature between the two lovers , but the film is highly erotic and the viewer understands the intense love and passion both main protagonists feel for each other.

Un Homme Perdu, (Danielle Arbid,France,2007,)

I watched this film sometime ago , but as I've been listening to Explosions of the sky recently , it reminded about the film as there are a few songs by them in the musical encore of the film. Yeah a photographer trying to find himself in a foreign country , after all a story of an artist finding himself.Thomas Kore travels around Lebanon, a foreign country where he doesn't speak the language and encounters a mistery man that leads him to face experiences and subsequently be the main subject for his work given to the vanishing of a man seventeen years ago, that appears to be this mystery man.The film is great , it's a simple story , not perfectly engaged in the end(in my opinion) but with pretty good shots and some type of drama that's been made to remember an audience , who we are as humans and how we can lose ourselves and lose our identity and transform into a different person.

well I also watched The Ugly Truth , but I'll talk about it later , C'mon we all enjoy a shitty romantic comedy from time to time , don't we? and that's how my week ended up .I hope I can tell you more exciting stories, although I don't think I can , as I've been a workaholic lately. I finally got the DVD of Koktebel , a film I've been wanting to see for a few days, and can't wait for the Pasolini experience.

The desk , the empty room and the conversation with a friend about relationships, yeah these are indicators that I'm back to my normal and current life, which it's not too bad and I wont complain , it just seems to be very ecstatic and idyllic sometimes, just when you write things and it gets delete it and then you try to remember every word you say while you were writing before .

This week has been full of new things ; I got a new job , so I spent the day before I actually started working , thinking about how the next day was going to be .I never really worry that much about those things , because there's always a routine that should be followed and when it gets disrupted -like i this case-by something else , I start panicking.Changes are good , just like they say .This new job has enabled me to change atmosphere and breathe a different air and above all getting into the tedious habit of waking up early , because sometimes we just have to learn things the hard way !! don't we ?.

However I shall not complain as, it's been a reflecting week , bombarding my mind with memories from the past two weeks and stupidly congratulating myself saying "o u've been doing good , despite everything I've had what it can be called a perfect life within the contest , I cant and shouldnt complain, because , i pretty much got what I wanted and should consider myself very lucky-just like everyone else, when you actually start thinking about the positive things you have-.Well,referring back to the talk about memories , on my way to the supermarket the other day , I  thought how time seems to be like molecules that dissolve in the air , but  comes back to our mind in a different shape from time to time, bringing back the great feeling of being alive , faces that made you frown , smile , close your eyes and everything in general.

Also in addition to this , I would recall the 6 days I spent in Rome , thinking about time and how much I would love to be with those I have a great affection for (like My Mum ) but again the feeling of sharing new thoughts with new faces, that again made you frown , smile and express your opinions about something , all that time spent , gets transformed into those molecules that dissolve but come back to you dressed as memories.

However , after a week of "memories" and having to face "reality".I've gone back to the ecstatic place of boredom sometimes and rejection of positive thoughts, I got the feeling on the bus again of wasting time ,but not being bothered to do anything about it.So again I'll wait in front of my pc until i get inspiration again . This is what i call natural state., waiting for an alien to take  your body to the moon and then send you back down to earth.

I dont know I had so much to say , but having written too much in the previous thing that got deleted it , made me forget what I was going to say. and I apologise for my dyslexia already , see I always have to apologise !! I'm so used to it!!

Film Recommendations of the week

In the next blog ,I would talk about Freya and six days , for now I'd just talk about two good films I've seen this week and I'm finally watching Wild Strawberries (Bergman 1957) , but can say this is an awesome film , with surrealistic scenery with a touch of realism (even thought it's not very realistic )I got surprised when I read that this film is listed as top 10 for the vatican list of films that every human being should watch. Nevertheless, I dont know why but sometimes I find Bergman a bit boring for my taste .

Father and Son (Sokurov , 2003)

This is the reflection of what I cant really explain , but my perception about Russian soul,(The scenery, words, everything, cant really describe it though) I think I'm pretty much obsessed with Tarkovsky and every russian film I watch, I always associate it with his work  somehow, well not all of them.But Sokurov is a revolutionary filmmaker (I mean , like half of Russian Filmmakers) and that is why I love him .I found this film very homoerotic and rather incestual at the beginning but then in the end you realise it's a poem to family bonds and relationships.

La Dolce Vita (Fellini , 1960)

Having come back with Rome , I had to watch a film I hadnt watched and I should have had ages ago as I'm a film student...plues  feeling kind of nostalgic for not being there anymore , I had to watch a film that reminded the places I was and what else I could choose but the sweet life of Marcello.I love this film , because even if we dont see it , it tells us how vain life can be and it refers to our continuous search for things such as love, fun and something meaningful in our rough journey in this world.I think the endless parties emphasize the message of the film about vanity and social decay in a society.

One day trying to watch a film , a light hearted one , I found this TV film Gia with an Angelina Jolie that looks far away from the image of the 1980s fashion and gay icon Gia Carangi. So I got obsessed with Gia's face, and started reading everything about the life of this shooting star that vanished out of this world in an ephemeral way , dying like an insect with no one but family after being in the most popular magazines and catwalks around the world and probably one of the first female victims of Aids. Her portraits reflect so much her rebellious personality and the cuteness combined with a grungy look.

IShe was like the new punk chick going glamorous with a daring look , but never losing that messy appearance , charged with sexual energy .And I must say Jolie fits this role perfectly , cos this was the way I perceived Jolie before she started all this I can do it all I'm-so perfect-multiple-mother-save-the-world-image attitude .

As for Gia, I love the way she looked , innocent sometimes or just simply wild. it wa either both , but never together I think.

Sunday afternoons have been made to relax and do everything you havent had time to do during the week. Or at least that's what they say and that's what ?i used to do , when I had a normal life...oh well but as I'm on holiday and like that song sang by Morrisey "Everyday is like sunday " this is how everyday has been for me since I finished school last May, obviously among some other things-of course-.

Oh well , a couple of sundays ago , I went to see Rudo y Cursi, a mexican film directed by Cuaron, erm , -I'm not talking about the dude who made a couple of Potter's movies, but his brother , the one who cowrote Y tu Mama tambien (Alfonso Cuaron, 2001).This film brings back Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal together as half brothers who live in a rural and impoverished area in Mexico and have different/similar goals in their lives.

And just like , we all get a moment of opportunity , luck comes on their way disguised in the figure of Batuta , a football scout whose major interest revolves around money.

The film tries to touch on different themes and it does not manage to do so. Something ends up missing towards the end, probably the downhill that turns everything around and doest give us what we expected towards the end .Good for Carlos Cuaron , the film has a great cinematopraphy and perfect acting .However it's not a new story , it has been done before and that is where it lacks some kind of authenticity.Nevertheless , this films works as a parable on how success can be ephemereal and how we can destroy our own opportunities to get a "better"-this obviously depends on our own perception about life and what we consider to be "better"-and it definetely lefts us thinking about various things and one particular one , the difference between passion and talent and not being the same.

we might have a passion but not talent to develop that passion. As for Carlos Cuaron, I believe some people are born to be screenwriters -somehow reflecting the message of the film-however that does not stop me from thinking he might be one of the promising mexican directors who might come up with the next international big hit in the the years to come.

Tegucigalpa ( a couple of years ago )

It was a very tiring wednesday evening , I was sitting in front of my PC, like I always do these days as I put myself online , one of my old classmates from high school starts asking me questions whether I'm in Honduras at the moment or not , to which I respond , "no I'm here, miles away".

And so the story begins and the constant thought about democracy starts popping in my mind . It'll started on wednesday , when President Zelaya sacked the chief of the army for opposing to his idea about organising the referendum and the constant terror have spread among the inhabitants of an "impoverished "country , that apparently lives only from banana and coffee exportations (well this is according to some facts i found on the internet) -oh Rubbish!! and sorry because I dont believe in this Westernized, european word "impoverished", I was born and lived there for the most part of my life and had great memories , yes we're a poor country in material terms , and it hurts me so much that this crisis is happening now , specially at this right moment , when we're not prepared to go through drastic changes-

We have been a political stable country for nearly 29 years after or probably I'm a bit ignorant giving these facts , so ignore me if I'm . Soldiers have brought down elected governments in the past , the first time in 1963 , the second time in 1975 , just t like they did this morning with president Zelaya .

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8123126.stm

Situation

I'm not very clear about this , but I would say that neither Zelaya's position in changing the constitution of the nation was right and nor was the intervention of armed troops . As they seem to remind us of the terrible years of militat dictatorship in other countires of Latin America and I have to support Morales statement about the whole situation being an assault to democracy to take away a president just like that and try to impose a new one , just like Roberto Michelleti .

I feel really bad and sorry and felt like crying , because ou of thirteenth years that I lived in Honduras nothing like it had ever happened until this point. Maybe it's about time to realise that we need a change , maybe it's about time to create self awareness in a population that had been sleeping for some time.

and oh Well for the mean time I would try to calm down as my mum told me "we're all ok ,the situation is intense but calm and i'll finish watching Prospero's Books by Greenaway (it was the last film Greenaway and Nyman worked together )and enjoy my lovely conversations with some ants I have in my room.

Another star has gone just as another day has dissapeared from our existence. I always think it is weird to think that everyday that fades away we're closer to death.

yeah i know what you all are thinking,that I'm a negative person with a pesimistic point of view towards life, , well not really it's just a thought that comes to my mind sometimes.

I cant recall whether I liked Michael Jackson at a certain point of my life or not. I dont think I did . However I do remember images of him on TV when i was about four years old and my mum saying "oh He's crazy, he looks like the antichrist" , maybe it didnt sound like that ,but in my memories I have it pictured like that.

Well before getting the news about his death , and before I lose myself in my own word labyrinth , just wanted to say that I'm happy to have been away from London for at least two days. This city can be very overwhelming to the point that makes you want to scream and get your lungs out and you simply cant , because it's a busy city , with an oppressing air unlike Liverpool , where everything seems to go so slowly , wow people smile and are very friendly to you on the streets. Like a touch of northern England. something you really miss in London.

Liverpool was awesome, I didnt want to come back to reality

I'm gone , and gone in the air , and I'm lost in a way but waiting to be rescued in the other hand , The boy told me stories and anecdotes I'd never heard from the mouth of 18-year-old , lies and years and months have gone by , and they wrapped bad decisions , happy days and tears. Walking down the streets I realised how long I've been making some mistakes , or I just got to know myself a little bit better , how much I need to improve in order to be a better person and how much I need to change . Talking to people , sometimes , you realise how much you have to win or lose , and how hard life can be for some people and for some how easy it can be , “well you have to keep on pushing” or that's what everyone says , even though , it doesn't seem to be true most of the time . You moan , but, as far as I learned , you don't really solve anything by doing that . Sometimes, specially these days , I wish my life would disappear in front of my eyes , but see from the eyes of my soul what my life would have been like , if I would have lived , and then probably I'd regret it , that's how life is , it's like what everyone's says , “when you look for something U don't find it and when you don't need it , there it is “ , I'm quite uncertain if this applies to the situation explained above, because it goes beyond the normal experiences we have in our common tasks. But it's like playing “deal or no deal” , especially when you watch it . If the contestant loses the big numbers and she or he decides to get the bank offer they play again as if they would have played without having taking the offer and it all ends up being the opposite then they get the big numbers. That's life there's a possibility of 50/50 , for everything , well it all depends on the perception or meaning we give to things,  now Morpheus is calling me and I have to go .